Tuesday, January 31, 2012

in case you were curious.

It's a fallen situation
When all eyes are turned in
And a love isn't flowing
The way it could have been.

You brought it all on
Oh, but it feels so wrong
You brought it all on
No, no, no, I don't believe this song
You brought it all on.

It's a sad communication
With little reason to believe
When one isn't giving
And one pretends to receive.

You brought it all on
Oh, but it feels so wrong
You brought it all on
No, no, no, I don't believe this song
You brought it all on.

Pardon my heart
If I showed that I cared
But I love you more than moments
We have or have not shared.

You brought it all on
Oh, and it feels so good
You brought it all on
When love flows the way that it should
You brought it all on.

It feels so good
It feels so good
You feel good. 

Artist: Neil Young
Song: Pardon My Heart
Album: Zuma

it's not just you.

Don't feel bad about being crazy and an emotional mess. Sometime we don't even realize or understand WHY we are crying. Even celebrities can admit they are full on crazy alley cats.

woes of female friendship.

Now that I am a 'blogger' I guess I am suppose to use this space as a platform for all of my rants and raves that no one ACTUALLY cares about. Perhaps you stumbled upon this as a mistake -- kudos to you if you are still reading this.

Sometimes there is a mystery so far unexplained, so confusing that all you can do is just sit back and watch while it unfolds and think...wait how did this happen?

No, I am not talking about the opposite sex. I am talking about the mystery of female friendship. Yes, there sometimes IS something more confusing and frustrating than men. In all of our relationships, whether is be with our family, friends or significant others, we constantly find ourselves in perplexing, annoying, stupid situations that are more than likely and usually avoidable. Personally, always have considered my friendships with my lady friends to be the hardest but also the most rewarding.

A recent situation with a friend got me to thinking - How can the most stable of friendships be so challenging?

Now I like to think of myself as a fairly reasonable and undramatic girl. But sometimes even we find ourselves in these types of situations. Usually catching you so off guard that it leaves you practically sick to your stomach and speechless.

Back to my question - how can even the best friendships be so HARD? I have no answer to that. I apologize if you were expecting some grand revelation but that is a perfect segue into my point. These fights, spats, tiffs, whatever you want to call them often boils down to expectations and pure raw female emotions.

Man oh man, those damn expectations and emotional knee jerk reactions get you every time. A few examples to make my point;
'I would never say what you said to me to you'
'You SHOULD have asked me about him / it / that'
'You were giving off a weird vibe'
'You were clearly pissed off'
'You're not happy so you can't be happy for me'

While these questions and statements are all very relevant and at times... even applicable. You might be thinking them but sometimes it is just best to SHUT up and not say anything. 9 times out of 10, you are PMSing, being bitchy, upset about something in your own life and feel like taking it out on somebody in a very backhanded way.

The bottom line is that we are sensitive, emotional creatures. We get very angry and worked up if someone even looks at us the wrong way. I believe that 90% of the time, we as women, create these situations in our own heads and end up exploding into an emotional rage believing everyone is conspiring against us. We all to need to chill a bit and stop taking everything so personally.  Present company certainly included.

I guess my point is this. You can never take back the things you say. You can apologize, you can say you didn't actually mean it and you can even believe that but it doesn't change that it is now out in the world.

Think before you speak. Or type.

I know I need to.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

the beginning.

Dear Blog, Tonight I start a 'blog'. I use the term 'blog' loosely, as I don't really understand blogs nor do I usually like them or read any. That's a lie I do read some blogs but I typically find blogs to be glorified journals of the vain self indulgent variety. But how funny you may ask yourself, this girl who claims she doesn't like blogs just started one. Hypocrite. I agree with you [I like how I say you when no one actually reads this yet]. Either way, I am unsure why now of all times I have decided to start this blog / annoying, whiny bitch fest. I have a few theories: 1. I am single & bored. 2. I think perhaps there are more of you out there like me in these Twin Cities who are also single and bored and are looking for someone else to relate to because lord knows I am. In all seriousness, I am starting this blog as more of an experiment than anything. Lately I have been feeling like I have some creative itch to scratch. I have been also feeling so incredibly frustrated and fed up with dating, love and perceived romance that I'm not going to lie -- I need to vent & drink a cocktail and just hope that I am not alone in this seemingly never ending quest for a mate. My intention for this blog is this. It's simple, really. It is to document my life as a single, 26 year old, 612 area code resident in her strange journey to find love, happiness and all of that fuzzy, girly shit I should be saying. I am a skeptical hopeless romantic. Does that even exist? This is a work in progress and one that I guarantee will be constantly changing in tone and intent. I don't really care if anyone reads this or not at this point, but it would be pretty bad ass to get some followers. So here goes nothing....is there anyone out there? NJH