Tuesday, January 31, 2012

woes of female friendship.

Now that I am a 'blogger' I guess I am suppose to use this space as a platform for all of my rants and raves that no one ACTUALLY cares about. Perhaps you stumbled upon this as a mistake -- kudos to you if you are still reading this.

Sometimes there is a mystery so far unexplained, so confusing that all you can do is just sit back and watch while it unfolds and think...wait how did this happen?

No, I am not talking about the opposite sex. I am talking about the mystery of female friendship. Yes, there sometimes IS something more confusing and frustrating than men. In all of our relationships, whether is be with our family, friends or significant others, we constantly find ourselves in perplexing, annoying, stupid situations that are more than likely and usually avoidable. Personally, always have considered my friendships with my lady friends to be the hardest but also the most rewarding.

A recent situation with a friend got me to thinking - How can the most stable of friendships be so challenging?

Now I like to think of myself as a fairly reasonable and undramatic girl. But sometimes even we find ourselves in these types of situations. Usually catching you so off guard that it leaves you practically sick to your stomach and speechless.

Back to my question - how can even the best friendships be so HARD? I have no answer to that. I apologize if you were expecting some grand revelation but that is a perfect segue into my point. These fights, spats, tiffs, whatever you want to call them often boils down to expectations and pure raw female emotions.

Man oh man, those damn expectations and emotional knee jerk reactions get you every time. A few examples to make my point;
'I would never say what you said to me to you'
'You SHOULD have asked me about him / it / that'
'You were giving off a weird vibe'
'You were clearly pissed off'
'You're not happy so you can't be happy for me'

While these questions and statements are all very relevant and at times... even applicable. You might be thinking them but sometimes it is just best to SHUT up and not say anything. 9 times out of 10, you are PMSing, being bitchy, upset about something in your own life and feel like taking it out on somebody in a very backhanded way.

The bottom line is that we are sensitive, emotional creatures. We get very angry and worked up if someone even looks at us the wrong way. I believe that 90% of the time, we as women, create these situations in our own heads and end up exploding into an emotional rage believing everyone is conspiring against us. We all to need to chill a bit and stop taking everything so personally.  Present company certainly included.

I guess my point is this. You can never take back the things you say. You can apologize, you can say you didn't actually mean it and you can even believe that but it doesn't change that it is now out in the world.

Think before you speak. Or type.

I know I need to.

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